I contemplated for a long time whether I wanted to share how I got started with my art journey in 2023. I had a spiritual experience, and I did not want to put myself in the woo-woo corner if it wasn't necessary. I already felt like an odd one most of the time. Causing myself to not fit in even more was not on my wishlist. 

Nobody would notice if I didn't tell, so it was no problem to keep that information to myself. I figured it would not help me in my journey, so the safest option was to tuck this away as a secret of my own. Like a rare diamond safely kept in a hidden vault. 

When this "secret" spiritual experience happened—and spoiler alert: I am going to reveal it in this post—I did not know I was going on an art journey. And I did not know I was going on a healing journey. And I definitely didn't know that these were very interconnected. 

The reason I am telling you this is that the healing journey revealed to me that I had lost my identity. That I wasn't truly authentic. And that I had a fear of being seen (and heard).
What does that have to do with art, you think? Everything! 

Art IS about identity, about being authentic. And if you want to share it with the world, the fear of being seen can get in the way. Even if you would not share your face anywhere. Because the art itself is a reflection of you. And therefore it can feel very scary to share it. Something a lot of artists struggle with. 

All this is a topic for another blog. What I am trying to say here is that I realized along the way that making art, and sharing my art with the world, is all about being real and authentic. And therefore my spiritual side, including my spiritual experience, cannot possibly stay tucked away in a hidden vault in my mind. 

So, hereby, I decide that I will not be ashamed of it. I will not hide a piece of myself or my story in hopes of fitting in with the crowd. Actually, I hereby decide that I will be unapologetically me, regardless of what people think of me. Just to break loose of that trap—and who knows, I might bump into my true tribe along the way. 

Okay, with that out of the way, here it goes:
It was August 2022, and I was praying. I don't remember about what—maybe I wrote it down somewhere. I will add it here if I find it. And then… out of the blue… with my eyes closed, I saw images of blurry, colorful paintings. They were moving before my mind’s eye, like a carousel. I could only see color, but not details. 

When it had ended, I thought: what in the world just happened?!! 

I was literally shook for a moment, trying to grasp the experience and its meaning. My first thought was: was this an inner vision?
I had heard about it but never experienced it. And I never knew anybody who did. So it wasn't really something that had been on my radar. Therefore, I went to Google to see what people said an inner vision was.

I was even more shook when I saw it being described exactly as I had just experienced it!
So now what? I was really puzzled because it did not come with any instructions or explanation. What did it mean?

Did it mean I would get the talent to paint? Because I was convinced I couldn’t. Not really. I had tried several times, and it wasn't really good in my opinion.

Did it mean an art career would fall out of the sky and I would become rich and famous?

Also, I have to tell you—my mind at that time was more focused on doom and gloom since we were fresh out of the pandemic and fully in the energy crisis. We were financially struggling, and I was anticipating worse. So exploring art—or even an art career—was 180 degrees in the opposite direction, and with my mind in survival mode, this sounded absolutely ludicrous to me.

I really didn't know what it meant. And for the first few months, I just waited. For what, I didn't know. I guess for further instructions. I also convinced myself that it would be better to not paint to make the vision come true. Somehow that felt like cheating. In hindsight, I really question why I thought this.

Apparently, I was waiting for golden fingers that would paint masterpieces in my sleep and a written-out plan to come to me in my dreams that would tell me exactly what steps to take.

News flash: this didn't happen. After several months, I kinda figured this out, lol. So by spring of 2023, I began to draw and paint just to see what would happen. No masterpieces yet—far from it. (See image below - the painting peeking in the background is more recent)

But something in me told me to keep going. I had no budget to take art classes, so I went by YouTube tutorials, Skillshare classes for a little while (highly recommended!), and Milan Art Institute came on my path, from whom I learned a lot just by their free content on YouTube and a few of their masterclasses that I bought.

Looking back, I would say I don't think the inner vision gave me some special talent. What it did give me was a clear sign in the direction my heart had always secretly wanted to follow. I think I needed some divine intervention to show me that it was possible. That I wasn't born with some exceptional talent, but that learning skills was the way.

Now that I am writing this, it is August 2025—three years after the inner vision. I love the paintings that I make, and I recognize that I still have a lot to learn, but it is a journey. It is a journey of learning skills, of discovering who I am, what I like (colors, shapes, materials, etc.). It's also a journey back to myself, the inner child that created without limiting beliefs, before I started to believe I did not have talent.

(Picture of a painting that I make a few months ago)

And all of this has made me passionate about sharing my art and my journey with the world, from beginning to end, woo-woo or not, in all its authenticity, vulnerability, and power.

To inspire you to go after your deepest dreams and desires—whether it be in art or not. It's not always about talent, but about skills, about believing in yourself and the path before you, and about deciding who you want to be.

I believe this is the path we all should go, before we get trapped in worries and the life we build around them. Some might need an inner vision to step onto that path, but really it all comes down to just making that decision: to step into your purpose, even if the rest of the path is unclear. I promise, it will be worth it!

Much love,

Denise